The Secret to Getting Your Way



Do you always get things to go how you want? Look around. Some people have the ability to influence others and get their way. Others always wind up with the short end of the stick.

You’ve probably met that charismatic manager who always gets the resources he needs. Or heard of that team leader who effortlessly manages to get his charged-up team to listen to his point of view. Or how about that cousin of yours who never lost an argument as a child? You know, the one that everyone thought would become a lawyer (and oh, yeah, he did).

Some people know how to be heard and influence other to get what they want.

What is it that you can do to get others to listen to you?

Do you need to know every piece of the puzzle so that you can answer any questions presented, supply plenty of facts to support what you’re saying, or speak with conviction and passion?


One of my clients recently met with the CEO of a major company and gave a great, well-planned presentation on an innovative system that could bring enormous benefits to the mentioned organization. He knew his stuff and provided facts and industry statistics. He “crossed the t’s and dotted the i’s” in his presentation. And above all else, he was super enthusiastic and excited about the opportunity. The door to the top decision maker definitely opened for him.

Yet, there was no immediate sale.

So what was missing?

Whether you’re talking to your employees, colleagues, managers, potential clients, top decision makers, friends, or even family members, they all have one thing in common. They want to feel that what you’re saying relates to them.

In order to get your way, you need to draw people into your conversation and into listening to you. It’s important to learn what it is that makes them tick, what makes the difference for them, and what they see as the “bottom-line.” In essence, you’re about to enable those who are listening to you to get their way. This means that you need to understand where they are coming from so that you can relate to them.

Focusing only on what you have to say during a conversation, limits your ability to get familiar with what’s in it for them. To do that efficiently requires engagement and two-way communication. When I say engage, I don’t mean tell them why you believe what you do and why you think it’s important. I mean that you should ask them questions, listen to the unfolding details and answers, and think about how what you want lines up with what they want. You’ll be surprised at how attentively they will listen to your point of view once you’ve listened to theirs.

Share with us what you’ll do differently the next time you want to get your point across and influence someone to get your way!